New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
