all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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