so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
