a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
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