the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Randomize
