The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Randomize
