All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I love black thongs
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
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