garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
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