hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
