What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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