I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Randomize
