went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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