that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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