her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
