dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
