Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Randomize
