East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
this just has baby written all over it
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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