i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
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