I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Randomize
