Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
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