question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Randomize
