u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Can you bring me the toilet please
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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