What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
