we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
