So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
