Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
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