She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
