she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Randomize
