i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Randomize
