The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
