u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I don't usually arrange sex via text message
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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