so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Randomize
