She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
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