I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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