i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
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