I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Randomize
