How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
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