Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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