Please, let me fuck your mom
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
handjob tips. give me some.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Randomize
