Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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