i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
now i know why i became what i already was.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
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