Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
