so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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