You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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