It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Randomize
