I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Please, let me fuck your mom
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Randomize
