Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Randomize
