apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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