just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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