with your own penis?
I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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