Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Randomize
