He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
