i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
Randomize
